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Divorce is change

Divorce is complex. This simple statement belies the combination of elements that go into the process we refer to as "divorce." This is because there are different parts of a divorce that are integral to the process, but actually are to some degree, unrelated.

There is the legal aspect. This part determines the financial settlement between the spouses and is where the issues of child custody are determined. Much of this can be legally very technical, making reference to the relevant Georgia family law statutes, and relying on aspects of contract law. This is because your divorce settlement is a contract between you and your eventual-former spouse.

And there is the emotional element, which is about ending a relationship with another person. This can be a complex activity, because if you have children, you will continue to have another relationship (co-parent) with that person that will be different, but still related to your previous relationship (married).

Compartmentalizing those two relationships is necessary, because the more we see divorce as a transition from one stage of life to another, the better we can put aside pejorative terms that create unnecessary stress in the process.

Life is always in flux. If you look old pictures from when you were a child or young adult, you may often note how different your hair or clothing styles were, or how different you life has become.

A relationship that worked when you were in your 20s may have substantially changed by the time you are in your 40s, and you should not be punished by remaining entangled in a relationship from a former time.

Divorce, done properly, can help you with that transition and while it may not be simple, it can help you create a positive and fulfilling future.

Forbes.com, "How To Divorce Well (And Cheaply)," Eilene Zimmerman, March 3, 2015

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