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Your child custody will last longer than your divorce

Divorce with children is always difficult. Or complex. Or maddening. Or many other words that occur to divorced parents as they work through the process of divorce and the frequently much longer lasting period of child custody arrangements that follow.

When a couple commences a divorce, they can be focused on the demands of the immediate proceeding, and rightly so. There is much going on, and issues such as property division can present many challenges and demand a great deal of attention. Determining the contours of your parenting plan or child custody agreement may also require a significant investment in time and emotional energy.

But while you are developing your parenting plan, you should also be thinking about how it will work in practice. If you have joint or shared custody, and you have created the schedule of what day of the week your child or children will be in your home, think about how you will discuss the topic with your children.

For the best outcome, consider how you can speak of your former spouse in a neutral and non-critical manner. Think about how you can reduce any potential tension during the handoff, and avoid speaking dismissively of their other parent.

You even want to be careful with your tone of voice. Your children will be especially sensitive to your phrasing and sharpness. You need to learn how to avoid being provoked by your former spouse in front of your children.

The more you can plan in advance for all of the minor inconveniences that will occur with your new relationship with your children's other parent, the better you can direct your actions to benefit your children and create a positive environment for your family.

The Huffington Post, "The 18 Best Things You Can Do For Your Kids After Divorce," Brittany Wong, February 17, 2015

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