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Staying together for your children may not be best

Divorce has long carried a stigma, especially if you have children. The fear has been that your children will suffer and perform less well in school and in life. This holds some couples together long after their relationship has withered and they treat each other with hostility or indifference.

Nevertheless, they stay together, keeping up appearances, in the hope of it benefiting their children. Sadly, they fool no one, least of all their children. While they may not always recognize it, perhaps because they are distracted with tension-laden interactions with their spouse, their children are watching and listening. 

They recognize sharp, biting tones of voice, painful silences and, of course, shouting and arguing, as indicating something is very wrong with how mommy and daddy get along. And because some of this tension can be caused by the effort to remain together, a divorce may in fact, improve their relationship with their spouse.

If this scenario sounds familiar, and you can accept that your being together is not benefiting your children, and see that your most important job is raising your children in a loving environment, free from nasty, mean-spirited arguments or a dead, indifferent relationship, everyone will benefit.

When you can regain your happiness, your children will notice that quickly and they are likely to do better than with parents with a failed relationship. Divorce can help you move on to where you can become happy, in part because you are not carrying the baggage of your marriage.

Divorce can be complex and you want to ensure that your parenting plan and your property division is executed appropriately, but you should not avoid divorce out of fear of hurting your children. If you are hurting, they already know it.

Yahoo.com, "3 Reasons Divorce May Not Be So Bad for Your Kids," Lambeth Hochwald, January 10, 2015

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